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Are we playing a fair game with childhood?


By G. Balasubramanian

“One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood,” said Agatha Christie. I recall the famous words of a poet who said that when you are stressed, look at the face of a child and all your stress will be relieved. Childhood has been considered for a long time as a great blessing in the growth profile of an individual. It is a time when every member of the family pays some attention to the child, seek an opportunity to be with the child and play with the child to relive their own childhood. One wonders today whether this scenario is valid.

In a highly fast-moving life, the child at home is possibly the most ignored now a days. Time to care for the child and time to bestow some unconditional love and affection to the baby is scarcely found or is being considered not a priority. Thanks to an increasing consumerist attitude to life even relationships are measured on their material value. With increasing media presence, the families find it convenient to leave the kids all alone with a cartoon or a comedy on a screen. When one of the employees I work with told me that both in the morning and evening he hands over his mobile phone to the one-year-old baby at home to play with, I was shocked. His argument that the child should feel comfortable with technology as he grows appeared to me as a poor argument.

Some important thoughts we need to keep in mind regarding the childhood are:

Childhood is a celebration.

A child at home is the nucleus of a celebration. The innocence of the child is indeed a gift that radiates divine and positive energy all around. Every member of the family needs to participate in this celebration actively as it gives them an opportunity to relive their own childhood. The faith of the future is only in the growth profile of the child. No wonder, Rabindranath Tagore said “Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.”

Innocence is joy

The innocence of the child is indeed a joy to admire and interact with. Parents need to take extra care to protect this innocence without making frivolous attempts to remove it with the idea of showering wisdom on their fragile mind. Innocence is also probably the starting point for pursuing curiosity and seeking answers to questions that are latent and unique to the child. Playing with the innocence of the child returns mirth and laughter to the elderly as I” is an acknowledgement of their purity of mind “If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older” says Tom Stoppard.

Need for family time

Family time for the little ones is very important and critical for their growth. Many children today do not get adequate family time, which is essential for developing relationships and social responses. Isolation, loneliness and indifference to the children will have serious impact on their mental and emotional growth. There is every possibility that in such an environment the children could become introverts later, apart from being inadequate in their empathy and concern for the community in which they are cohabiting.” I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection” says Sigmund Freud.

Need for Personal Care

Children at the formative age need a lot of personal care. Individual attention to them would help in understanding their emotional profile, needs, levels of sensitivity, kinesthetic mobility, curiosity and the like. Research findings do indicate that personal interactions between the mother and the child, as well as with others facilitate enhanced levels of communication, verbal and non-verbal vocabulary and social compatibility. It helps in nurturing their self-esteem and comfort levels thereby improving confidence profile “Children are living beings - more living than grown-up people who have built shells of habit around themselves. Therefore, it is necessary for their mental health and development that they should not have mere schools for their lessons, but a world whose guiding spirit is personal love.”

Providing play time

Over the last few decades, with the professional engagements of parents multiplying, the play time with children is slowly declining. Play time is very important to develop a wide variety of physical, mental, intellectual and psychological faculties of young ones. Play triggers their thinking skills, their problem-solving skills and decision-making skills. It helps the young ones to reach out as well as to withdraw from situations and does offer an opportunity for experiential learning. Play time helps the children to improve their levels of confidence. It is said that parents consciously fail while playing with their children to make them win. It is an exercise in improving their self-esteem and persuade them to challenge and accept challenges. To leave the children exclusive and isolated with the play kits does not the required purpose of play. The parents need to get involved in play

Story telling

Bedtime stories and dining table discussions go a long way to consolidating the relationship and in providing a sense of security and transparency. The stories indeed trigger their levels of imagination, fantasy, creative thinking and listening skills. They trigger the sense of wonder in the minds of children and engage with the events, characters and emotions in their own minds and at their own emotional levels. The stories help in facilitating them to construct their own visual universe and models of what is heard and thereby empowering their own constructivist approaches and in social constructivism.

With the National Education Policy emphasizing childcare right from the birth of the child, (0-3 years) it is important to take country wide initiatives to educate the parents on developing the mental and emotional health of the children right from home.

Some important concerns presently about the emotional and mental health of the younger generation are:

  • Overload of information
  • Exposure to inappropriate technology
  • Competition and setting high achievement targets
  • Failing to accept and appreciate their uniqueness
  • Indifference to nutrition
  • Promoting emotional consumerism
  • Inadequate physical work
  • Poor personal social relationships

“The child is the father of the man” is the most quoted proverb. What is the role of family and school both individually and then collectively to facilitate this proposition? “What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles, it was a miraculous world" said G.K. Chesterton

The question before all of us today is “Are we playing a fair game with the childhood of the current generation?” Time to reflect.