Dealing with a boss – Need for a professional approachHave you ever asked the secretary to your boss 'how is the mood of the boss?' before entering his chamber?
Have you ever thought of a good time to discuss with the boss so that things go smooth? - I have. I am sure most of us have. Dealing with a boss is indeed an exciting experience.
Ashok is a successful entrepreneur. While sharing a cup of tea with him one evening, he said “My boss in the previous office really threw me away, when I suggested to him some faults in the system and impressed on him to take remedial steps.” I felt sorry for him and asked “I don’t think that any employer would throw you out for good suggestions. Was it because of the suggestions or something else?”
“Well, he did not like the way I put it. He thought I was trying to play smart and outwit his stature.”
“That is, it” I replied, “It is not your suggestions that upset him but the way you dealt with the issue. But tell me, now that you are an employer, do you accept suggestions from employees with ease and comfort?”
“Not always” he smiled. “I sometimes feel that employees should remain employees and should not outsmart the boss.”
I smiled. “Then, how different are you from your boss?” I asked. “We should never judge people from our perspectives only. An employer may be looking at many of these issues with different perspectives.” He had no reply to offer except saying “Well, it is all in the past.”
Dealing with an employer or a boss needs a lot of wisdom and skill. Though I do not subscribe to the view that “Boss is always right,” it must be equally acknowledged that “Boss is always a Boss.” Any discussion or argument with a boss must be articulated with respect, grace. honesty and logic. The ability to listen his points of view and argue against or defend one’s personal view must be in a cool and a mutually acceptable atmosphere. Says Zig Ziglar, “You don't build a business, you build people, and then those people build the business.”
Ms. Cidar was the executive secretary of a real estate agency and was indeed a well-qualified person. She however knew that her boss, the man in mid=thirties, was not adequately educated and had inherited the post dynastically. Having collaborated with his father for a few years, she had known the tricks of trade and was competent to manage the situations. However, currently she feels she cannot give the same respect to this young man, as she knows things better and more. This inherent feeling created a disrespect towards him. She picked up arguments frequently to prove that he is inadequate in his position. The strained relationship caused her removal from the post sooner than later. While removing her from her post was indeed not good for the organization, her inability to accept the boss in his position on “as is” basis was a compelling factor for her removal.
Fortunately, if the boss also has the qualities of a leader, he would be able to manage the case with better wisdom and understanding. In several organizations such conflicts do arise, which often are avoidable, but do manifest into a crisis.
Psychologists say that one of the causes for such conflicts is “Transparency illusion” which indeed means that whatever we want to communicate has reached the other person with clarity. It doesn’t happen always. George Bernard Shaw says, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” It is important to ensure that communication with the boss is clear, correct, honest and professional. Oftentimes, one tends to believe that communication has been perfect, least realizing that what is communicated has not been perceived in the same wavelength. It is important to work patiently to ensure the reach of the communication correctly and adequately rather than blaming the other side for their inadequacies. Peter Drucker, the Management Guru has this to say, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.”
There are cases when a boss is feeling low because the people who collaborate with him are better qualified and more competent. They tend to ensure that their authority is protected by letting some fume and fire. I have faced many such situations. On certain occasion, during departmental meetings, I had told my team to be ready for some verbal assaults on them, as the boss could not relieve the heat on me. One must learn how to remain tolerant on such occasions and not react. Such emotional tantrums are sometimes reflections of their psychological inadequacies. Once the steam is out, things return to normalcy.
Many have succumbed to their emotional agenda where they have tried to play a boss to the boss. Such attempts do please on for a brief period but will have a catastrophic effect over a longer period. Accepting a position is more important than accepting the individual alone.
Mr. Abhishek was lamenting that he has not had any elevation to his post for a few years due to some kind of saturation of positions at that level. His complaint was that many who had served under him have been elevated and held parallel positions to him. He strongly felt that they had better access to the boss than him, which privilege they didn’t have earlier. “Sir, they were just juniors and today they are equal to me” he told the boss and the boss replied with just a smile. “You should be careful when you entertain them for a discussion.” The boss raised his eyebrows and said in a stern voice “Thanks for your advice, Abhishek. I know what I should do, and I take responsibility for what I do.” That was enough for Abhishek to consider the options for a voluntary retirement.
It is important to understand where and when one should draw the line in relationship with a boss. In many cases, personal friendships overtake the professional relationships, and this is injurious to both. There are many offices where one could hear people saying “The guy has changed after his promotion. He doesn’t share his lunch with us nowadays.” Understanding change in relationship dynamics is key to healthy relationships and coexistence in any organization.
Subodh was a section head in the government organization. He was a regular smoker and so everyday he walked out of the office for a smoke and a cup of tea in the nearby tea stall. He was always accompanied by three or four people including some peons in the department. A few years later, he was transferred on promotion to another city. He returned to his state after six years as the regional head of the organization. Two days later, he found someone knocking the door of his room. He saw the same four people and one of the asked him “Sir, shall we go out for a tree?” Subodh was embarrassed and replied that he was busy. It took several days for him to create the much-needed distance between him as the boss and his colleagues. Not to mention, the four people became trouble shooters and he had to deal with them differently.
The seven important things one would do to have a professional relationship with the boss are:
1. Stay positive, talk less and value time.
2. Don’t overstay in the chamber of the boss and engage in gossip.
3. Never engage in discussions in which you are not a party, or you are sought to intervene.
4. Listening carefully to the words and the body language of the boss is important.
5. Respect the idea that the boss is a human being as much as you are.
6. Learn to be patient, receptive and adaptive.
7. Always respond but do not react.
In any organizational structure professionalism and established code of conduct is necessary for successful relationship management. Next time, you enter the room of your boss, please do remember that “he is the boss” and not “after all, he is a boss”!
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