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Musings: You are not wanted (?)

By G. Balasubramanian

A blog I wrote a couple of years back in the month of March on the title “You are not wanted” surfaced today in my laptop. I feel it is worth sharing again!


Down the memory lane I remember as a young primary school student, when I went to play along with my friends in the street corner, one of them told “hi, you are not wanted. You are no good in the game” – I felt insulted, depressed and got back to my parents “They have rejected me.”

I grew up.

As a middle school student, I wanted to be a part of the cricket team of my peers in the street. But the captain of the team said “Listen, you can help us by picking up the balls from outside the ground. But you can’t be a part of team. We have better players.” I felt rejected, incapacitated and unworthy.

I grew up.

In the school annual day, I wanted to be a part of the drama troupe, but the teacher told me “I need more handsome boys who are well built. But you can help us by moving the furniture on the stage while play is on.”. I felt humiliated, unwanted and useless.

I grew up.

I went to attend an interview. I had all the requisite qualification and experience. I answered all the questions. But I was rejected because there was no godfather who would recommend me for that job. I felt the universe gloomy, harsh and unsupportive.

I grew up.

Life moves on. “Exits” and “Entries” defining and re-defining life and the game we play.
It happens to most of us. There are many places where we find there is always notice board waiting for us with the message “YOU ARE NOT WANTED”

You have been a great teacher for two decades. But a single incident where you are not directly involved costs your job. The management says, “You are Fired.”

You have been a successful doctor. A single mishandling of the situation in the hospital by a member of your working team puts the moral responsibility on your shoulder. You are stripped of your title.

You had been a successful marketing man working under stressful conditions and showing results. But the unwillingness of the company to acknowledge the presence of a better product that costs your numbers drives them mad and they say, “Your exit papers are ready.”

You work for an organization for two or three decades. You build it with nuts and bolts. When in crisis, you say “I know where these nuts and bolts are.” But the management says “Thank you. We will be changing the nuts and bolts now… Change. therefore, you are not wanted.” You don’t belong to the organization any more. You feel orphaned. Passionate relationships with organizations have become the mythological stories of the past. History is rewriting the “life-cycle” of professions.

But all of us outgrow such challenges. We face life. We need to.

If one is rejected in a professional environment, there could be several reasons.

1. There is a mismatch between the organizational perspectives and that of the individual.

2. There is a mismatch in the competency profile between what is wanted and what you give.

3. That you are not a team player and not accommodative.

4. That you don’t let others get what they are due.

5. That your ego is celebrated more than your work.

6. That your trust is under test.

7. That you are unwilling to learn and grow.

It is important to develop a “professional eye” to your work profile in any organization. That includes your ability to “create a need” for yourself.

Rejection is in no way an indication of one’s lack of competencies or work culture. There are many case studies relating to:

a. Rejection- because the superior feels threatened with the advanced knowledge and skills of the subordinate.

b. Rejection- because you are more celebrated compared to the ones who control you.

c. Rejection- because you have a culture of non-acceptance of views coming from ivory tower flatly.

d. Rejection- because you could not be manipulated the way the boss wants to.

e. Rejection- because your presence is a threat to the depleting business ethics of the organization.

Here is a question: Do you feel the rejection or “you are not wanted” syndrome painful?

On the face of it, YES. But remember, Life is much bigger than such momentary rejections.

A leading Super star was rejected because of an Audio test.

A leading Heroine failed in her first photo test in one language but scaled peaks in another.

A student to whom the school was not helpful, became a world renowned musician.

When one door closes, another opens. One needs to accept the change and the challenge!


Let us arise -like a PHOENIX!